Doctor Update

I finally talked to his doctor. He said as long as things progress in a positive manner, he will recover. He does not see taking him off the ventilator or sedation for another week at least.

I miss him so much, but this isn't about me, right?

Suicide... it is vile and selfish. I can understand being at a point where the pain is just too much whether emotional, mental, physical, or spiritual. But suicide victimizes other people. Suicide is the ultimate betrayal.

Am I angry at myself, or am I angry at him?

I feel I should have seen it, should have felt it. I didn't.My head swims with all this emotion. I pray. While I am not into organized religion, I am strongly spiritual and religious. No, I am not trying to convert anyone, but when I say I pray, I feel I need to say that. Prayer is powerful whatever deity, being, presence, or entity is receiving that prayer. It is energy. Positive energy.

My prayer all day has been: "Lord, I beg you, show mercy, love, and forgiveness."

It is all I can think of right now. I am so tired. The day seems so long. I forgot to register my car, and that was sue yesterday... yuck. On the bright side I did do a little work (I work from home). Though it was painful and took me all day to do what should have taken an hour.

I wish I had a cyber hug!