Hanging in There

I spent all day in the ICU talking with Mike and holding his hand. He responded to me, and I do not care what they say about reflexes. There is an enormous difference...

His oxygen level is 95% and his saturation has been from 88-91. He has held steady at that for over 24 hours now. He started spiking a temp yesterday that comes and goes still this morning. He may be in for a CAT scan. They are worried about a blood clot in his lungs.

How long can the human body do this? He needs to fight, but how much fight does his body have left?

The last time we spoke he talked of Astoria and was telling me how much he loved me. I cannot believe he did this on purpose. I think he had been in so much pain that he accidentally kept taking more and more meds. His actions the last time we spoke and other things make me think this was an accident.

Like, he did not take all the meds. I have found many of his meds untouched. The medicine I needed for my Lupus was left untouched. The medicine he took was for pain and his blood pressure. I am wondering if he took pain meds and then wanted his blood pressure to come down. I cannot believe... maybe I am just in denial.

Things look grim. But I still hold onto the faith I have that he will pull through. It is all I have at this point.